Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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