Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize