found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."