So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?