I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
