I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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