I can text with my tongue
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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