I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
