tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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