Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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