I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
