I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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