That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
