So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
