i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
