didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
NoShamevember. You game?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
