Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
