Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
