in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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