marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
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He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
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I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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