we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
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Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
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I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize