just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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