i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
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God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
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Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day