U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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