she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy