Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you

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  (313): You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you http://tfl.nu/5wuc
  Replies (5) Good night (749) Bad night (1183)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  life is too short to starve

  (678): View more from Georgia

  life is also too short to be fat

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  (336): life is too short to starve (678): life is also too short to be fat http://tfl.nu/v94u
  Replies (6) Good night (2337) Bad night (1170)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I hate ducks.

  (916): View more from California

  What?

  (916): View more from California

  they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.

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  (916): I hate ducks. (916): What? (916): they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck. http://tfl.nu/gesm
  Replies (55) Good night (3393) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  How many people did you send this to?

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  (773): CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;) (1-773): How many people did you send this to? http://tfl.nu/e1gk
  Replies (11) Good night (4445) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.

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  (303): Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups. http://tfl.nu/tsnb
  Replies (12) Good night (5316) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip

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  (303): she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip http://tfl.nu/86nj
  Replies (20) Good night (4184) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?

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  (941): Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"? http://tfl.nu/trim
  Replies (60) Good night (3198) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle

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  (607): She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle http://tfl.nu/wl70
  Replies (9) Good night (3766) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.

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  (712): I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier. http://tfl.nu/5p4u
  Replies (8) Good night (882) Bad night (2640)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?

  (518): View more from New York

  I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game

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  (973): Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits? (518): I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game http://tfl.nu/j3xf
  Replies (7) Good night (1755) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  I'm sorry I peed on your everything.

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  (951): I'm sorry I peed on your everything. http://tfl.nu/ktzg
  Replies (5) Good night (712) Bad night (1096)
• Favorite

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Haha hell yea

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.

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  (980): You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday. (336): Haha hell yea (980): Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday. http://tfl.nu/pa5o
  Replies (2) Good night (937) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.

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  (314): Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit. http://tfl.nu/r9h5
  Replies (1) Good night (460) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.

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  (717): I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing. http://tfl.nu/wa5t
  Replies (3) Good night (356) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?

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  (304): watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him? http://tfl.nu/cta0
  Replies (3) Good night (530) Bad night (277)

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