Kareoke will never be a sober sport
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming