We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house