WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
