Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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