How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
