I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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