I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
