and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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