Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
