You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
