i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Holy sore nipples Batman
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
