jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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