I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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