would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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