Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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