And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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