Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
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Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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