whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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