walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i think im in europe. pls send help
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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