So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize