So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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