My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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