just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
