you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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