I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
