I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
