I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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