And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
