he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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