i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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