it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
