omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
