yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
