Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
As shirtless as possible
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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