you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
