capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
