Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
