i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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