i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize