Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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